Making Change Possible

My experience at The Doorway has meant a lot to me over the last two years. As a person who's experienced homelessness, incarceration, and substance abuse my entire adult life, it has been important for me to access services The Doorway provides. Trying to figure out the world and where you fit in can be hard enough without barriers like poverty, but The Doorway gives you hope. Many times I would think about stealing food to eat, but went to The Doorway instead where I could spend time in a good environment, work on goals, and leave with a little bit of money to last me a few days. It's difficult for young adults to break through barriers and build healthy productive lives. From the time I started going to The Doorway in 2019, I've secured housing, managed my alcohol problem, and starting my BA at the University of Calgary. I will always appreciate The Doorway and the services they provide to young adults and the important role they play in the community.

My journey before The Doorway was filled with a lot of negative emotions, no sense of where I was going in life or even if I would be alive another year. There was no such thing as a positive relationship in my life, with others or myself. And I certainly didn’t see the importance of setting goals. I came to The Doorway such a broken man who thought no one in the world would care about me or what or where I was going in life, nothing really mattered to me at all. When I first started accessing The Doorway, I honestly just wanted the money for drugs and would write pointless stuff that I knew deep inside I was never going to follow through with. I really didn’t see the point and didn’t think anyone cared enough to sit down with someone like myself to see what was really going on in my life. The one thing I started to notice was that the staff there really did care about me. They believed in me and knew I could do better. They saw me at my worst and still tried to help me. And still tried to show me the importance of goals and how setting them could help me better myself and change my life. For once in my life, I felt like someone cared enough about me to make me want to be a better person, start helping others and start taking a long hard look at myself and what I wanted to change about the way I was living. Without The Doorway, I honestly believe I would still be doing drugs and living on the streets. The Doorway gave me a safe place to focus on myself and try to improve my life. I didn’t ever think I would be where I am today, and I don’t think I could have done it without the help of The Doorway believing in me and never giving up on me. I am so grateful for everyone at The Doorway who has helped me in my journey.

I’m standing tall. I’m standing free. Found my strength, it’s inside me. Everyday is a victory in this life of sobriety. I’m shining bright, I’m shining true in this journey. I found you every moment, every stride, I’m filled with pride. Success in sobriety means staying free from drugs / alcohol and embracing a healthy lifestyle. It involves making positive choices, finding support, and focusing on personal growth. Each day of sobriety is a step towards a more fulfilling and balanced life.

Growth is a funny thing to me, because its something we talk about as something we all need today. The importance of said growth is up to you and how you decide to approach in your life and day to day. I feel as if I come here every week to talk about growth and two paths you can take – good and bad, and somewhere knowing what lies on the other side of good and bad. I have decided to make bad decisions, mistakes happen of course, but not all bad things in my life have been mistakes. I have called them choices. So I intend to hold myself responsible for the choices I have made and executed. I have goals and certain dreams I’d like to make happen. I need to look in all areas, and find my impulsive and at times lazy and emotional self. The Doorway talks about areas of life and I would like to do good at all of them and become the most excellent person I can be.

One of the biggest barriers I face in making change is myself. In the past year or so at The Doorway, I’ve discussed this with a few staff, and many are understanding and offer to help when I get phone anxiety, or anxiety in general. But I think I need to stop leaning on others so much. I know deep down I’m fully capable of doing a lot on my own, but I work myself up. I want to stop procrastinating, and work on my mental health in the next few months. Hence why some of my goals have been taking about healthier lifestyles, routine, and working through my anxiety. I plan to do a lot of introspective work with my goals ad lifestyle in the next few months, and shift to a more productive mindset. Because if I don’t do it now, I’ll just keeping putting it off. I’m starting out small, with my first two goals. I’m going to be better with money, because I know how to budget and know I’m fully capable of sticking to one, and pushing away thoughts of impulsive spending when it’s important, which it is. I also want to start walking outside for 10-20 minutes a day, because I know walking calms me down when I’m anxious, and is also good for me and my dog. Then I’ll introduce more steps to this plan and routine of mine. Once I start doing this routine for a couple weeks, some steps will start turning into habits. Other plans I have to treat myself better include getting some help, or finding some new coping mechanisms. This will be the complicated part of the plan, as it’s up to me to hold myself accountable for my healing.