When I first started coming to The Doorway, well even heard about it, I was very skeptical that there were people, and not only people but a whole organization of people, that were so willing to give unconditionally, no strings attached. I was always taught that nothing in life is free and that you should always read the fine print and that everyone always has an angle. My father taught me this and that 99% of people in the world are what he calls takers and that there are very few givers like him. But as the months went on I came to realize that The Doorway was most definitely an amazing group of givers and I truly haven’t experienced anything like that other than being at home when I was younger so it was very refreshing.
I was also taught to never take anything for granted so I thought to myself how do I stay accountable to all this extra help and support I’m receiving that many others aren’t. I made a pact with myself to focus on my contracts, while creating them and more so while following through with them. This would keep me accountable to the privileges I was now reaping the benefits of. When I think back on it now it’s almost like the program MyPlan and the contracting process was almost acting as a late form of parenting. Ha-ha! It’s funny when you say it…24-year-old needing parenting but that is nothing short of the truth.
The best thing about it though is that it was self-found. I thought and created everything. All the guidelines and goals I wanted to live by and achieve, it wasn’t being told to me or forced over me. This was huge cause I’ve always had a big issue with authority for some stupid reason.
On top of all the new great ideas flowing out of my own mind I was supported with all the little things that are huge when living on the street. A warm coat, the right footwear, water bottles, clothes, hygiene, anything one would need to survive out there. It was provided to me and once again my skepticism was smashed away which really made me want to give back now. This has been one of my down falls in the past and always has been, helping others when I can’t even help myself. But The Doorway gave me a way to help others without putting myself out or at risk which was nice bringing people into the greater Doorway circle. In doing so I was able to shake my need to give a little bit.
My time here has been amazing, I will always look back on it and cherish mostly the people. I can’t imagine where I would be now without the support that I was given in those days or even if I did not have a place to go to collect my thoughts. I most definitely would have spent a lot more nights in jail, I believe that. I can’t help but be sad about my time here coming to an end but with my time ending I guess that there is space and room for one more individual that needs it more than I do right now so with that I can find happiness. I can only hope that they find as much help and support here that I have.
I heard something from an older dude that really bothered me and I couldn’t help but put him in check and embarrass him if possible. I was overhearing a conversation about the Liars Club, he said it was called, trying to explain the place to his friend and he gave the location and what it’s called. I remember he was obviously still homeless and I couldn’t help myself, I kind of tore into him a bit saying maybe if it wasn’t the liars club to you, you wouldn’t still be standing in the same spot you were then, in many more words and in probably a much ruder way, ha-ha! But it disturbed me that someone would speak about The Doorway like that. Now that I think about it, it was totally like if someone was to say something bad about your dad, ha-ha, you feel the need to defend your family, so with that being said, I don’t think my time here will ever really truly be at an end cause I’m family now.
-Jakob
